Gift Idea for the Fashionista

Bringing Home the Birkin

by Michael Tonello

My Life in Hot Pursuit of the World’s Most Coveted Handbag

 

In the words of Monty Python …

and now for something completely different. 

If you could see me right now in ratty jeans and a favorite soft sweatshirt found at Goodwill, you’d seriously question why I would read, let alone recommend, this book.

And you’d be right, I could care less about designer clothing labels or bling from Tiffany’s — but I do have a weakness for a good bag.  (There was an incident at a Coach factory store in New Hampshire [no sales tax], where mid purchase, my credit card company shut me down thinking my card was in the hands of a thief on a spending spree — but the incident was all sorted out and we shall speak no further of it.)

Back it in the 90’s, Hermès was known for their coveted Birkin handbags – and the infamous five year waiting list to obtain one of the bags. This urban myth was perpetuated through the cultural icons of the time such as a Sex and the City episode and Victoria Beckham’s astonishing pink Birkin. They were (and still are – just checked eBay – yikes) the ultimate elite status symbol.

At a starting price of $8,000, a Birkin is well beyond my means or my conscious.  But still, a girl can dream right?

That’s why I stopped short when I came across Bringing Home the Birkin. I found myself turning the pages, warily thinking — this is not the book for me, I’ll just read a little bit…and before I knew it, I was enthralled by this frothy, engaging and funny tale.

Michael Tonello moves from Cape Cod to Barcelona, Spain, but once there the job he has lined up, falls through.  Having fallen for both Barcelona and a new man, Mr. Tonello turns in desperation to his favorite pastime — shopping, which leads him into Hermès stores where he buys scarves to resell (at a very good profit) on e-Bay. When one of his scarf buyers asks him to obtain a Birkin, (at any price) he takes on the challenge.

This proves to be a formidable task as Hermès made sure the Birkin bag remained ultra exclusive, by instituting a waiting list with high-profile customers, limiting the number of Birkins sold to each customer and  putting a “reserved” sign on display bags.

Mr. Tonello riffs on the likelihood of the “reserved” ploy with this passage:

I could only imagine the conversation:  “Oh yeah, the croc Birkin, right, great.  But I only have half the money now,  — repairs on the yacht this week you know how it is…don’t sell it, just put in the window, pop a reserved sign on it or something.  I’ll send the chauffeur by with the other half by next Sunday at the latest — Great great.  You guys are the best…”

Hermès‘ strategy worked and customers fell for it–blinded by the rarity and social status. Mr. Tonello knew this human failing only too well and he finds it fairly easily to obtain numerous bags, but only after he develops a buying formula, a special outfit (!) and profiles of typical Hermès sales personnel in order to befriend them (one of the funniest sections of the book are these employee “profiles” – and their accompanying illustrations).  He journeys to Luxembourg, Capri, Santiago, Paris –all in search of Birkins, which he sells at a tidy profit to his shamefully rich clients.

Just when this tale of over the top consumerism is almost getting to be too much, a family tragedy causes Mr. Tonello to examine his conscious.  He reflects on what is actually important in life and discovers he can no longer deal with “people who lacked for nothing, but who longed for more”. 

With that said, Bringing Home the Birkin is not high moral reading.  This is a guilty pleasure — a fun peek into the world of high fashion, high stakes shopping and the extraordinarily rich.  But it also shines with beautiful locations, great hotels, top restaurants — and most of all the fascinating, funny and outrageous Michael Tonnello.

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Why is it called a Birken?  Well the story goes that Jane Birkin was flying from London to Paris in 1981 when she reached into her bag for her datebook and everything fell out. “I’d love a bag with pockets,” the English singer/actress told her seatmate.  Her seatmate just happened to the chairman of Hermès. He was a good listener. He had his designers make not only a bag with pockets, but also a spill-proof closure. He sent one to Birkin and then he named it after her.