Did You Ever Have a Family by Bill Clegg

At first, I rejected this book because in the opening chapters — the main character, June, looses her entire family in a horrific home accident, and with the cruelest twist of all – on the eve of her daughter’s wedding.  I closed the book thinking, well this…

But then I read that Did You Ever Have a Family was nominated for both the Man Booker Prize and National Book Award and reviewers were using words such as “wondrous, eloquent and beautifully nuanced”.  I decided to give it a another go.  I vowed to give it four or five chapters this time. 

That did it, I was totally captured — caring so much about the characters that I couldn’t stop reading. Yet, I found myself reading slowly to fully absorb the language and the wisdom within its pages.  But, be prepared, Did You Ever Have a Family is unusual  — beyond just the missing question mark in the title — very little happens in the present and there is only a smattering of dialogue.

Mr. Clegg guides us through the devastation a tragedy brings to a small community and how the pain can spatter far and wide.  With each chapter, he allows those effected to open their hearts.

Each character slowly reveals their memories and accounts. Everyone is linked, some in minor ways — others with strong connections.  And it’s these connections that the author deftly weaves together into a bittersweet tapestry of people who love, who care and form more than just a community, but a family.  This comes alive with some gorgeous writing – as here, with Lydia, a waitress in the diner :

When you see someone every day for a while, you settle into a rhythm and you come to count on them even if for nothing more than fifteen minutes each morning they spend sitting at your counter, on one of your stools, talking about the weather and giving you a big smile and thumbs up when they sink their teeth into a poppyseed muffin.

The quiet heartache of this novel will resonate with anyone who has lost a loved one. But surprisingly Mr. Clegg counteracts the sadness with the characters revealing little snippets of past and present happiness.  Many of their happiest moments and memories are the little things — which often turn out to be enormous.  I underlined this sentence and re-read it several times, simply lovely…

All we can do is play our parts and keep each other company. And it might be you never know the part you played.

Did You Ever Have a Family concludes 3,000 miles away from the original tragedy, with a gentle happiness warily gathering around the main characters.  As if their new community – this new family — is a healing shawl around their shoulders .

I closed this book thinking how grateful I am for the communities that surround me — friends and family, of course, but also those people you may think don’t affect your life, but at the end of the day are all part of your story and your community.

Yes, Did You Ever Have a Family is sad, but it is also a heartening testament to the fundamental human need to connect with others.  Those that keep us getting out of bed each morning, those we care for, worry about, love and if we’re lucky – wonders of wonders – they love us back.

A digital review copy was provided by Simon &  Schuster via NetGalley.