Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad

I always find it difficult to review a memoir. How does one comment on another person’s life experiences? Often, if it’s well written and when I find myself relating to and/or learning from a memoir – then I can go from there.

Such was the case with Between Two Kingdoms. Ms. Jaouad is best known for her Emmy-award winning column titled “Life Interrupted”. Her writings have been featured in many magazines and she has appeared on NPR. And finally, she is featured in Jon Batiste’s documentary “American Symphony” — but more on that later*.

You might question, like I did, if you really want to read about a young woman’s experience with cancer. So, I entered the book gingerly, but quickly found her story captivating and both devastating and uplifting in equal measures.  

Ms. Jaouad tells of her leukemia diagnosis at just 22 years of age and the toll this disease took not just on her life, but also on the lives of her family, friends and her relationship with a wonderful man.   But despite all of those things, she was a survivor ready to pick up where life left off.  Rather than succumb to depression, instead she picked herself up and took steps to actively re-engage in life (a study guide for anyone).

Her writing is beautiful and brave as she shares how the cancer ravaged her body. Her writing is painfully honest and — fair warning — she does not shy away from sharing the details. I never thought it possible to write poetically about nausea – but she does. One can certainly see why she is a respected reporter.

Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick,” Susan Sontag wrote in Illness as Metaphor. “Although we all prefer to use only the
good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.

But it’s not all gloom and doom, Ms. Jaouad also has an adventure story. While a patient in Sloan Kettering, she wrote articles about her real-time experience fighting cancer which were published in her New York Times column “Life Interrupted”. This fame sparked a correspondence with other cancer warriors across the country. In an adventuresome exercise, when Suleka’s health improves she takes off on a 100-day 15,000 mile car ride across the country to visit some of these people whom she had become to know. This road trip is full of surprises, warm meetings, and much bad driving.

Between Two Kingdoms is not only marvelous storytelling, it is also an insight into one woman’s struggle to make sense of a world that seems impossibly and devastatingly uncertain. Ms. Jaouad gives her experience eloquence without shying away from the hard truths.

All of us have experienced cancer – either your own or a loved one’s. If you’re like me, you’ll perhaps find that Ms. Jaouad’s memoir deepens the way you view sickness, recovery…and the importance of loved ones throughout the battles. In the end, this memoir is an uplifting celebration of life – as they say through sickness and in health.

* N.B. “American Symphony” is a Netflix documentary about musician, Jon Batiste, who sets out to compose a symphony. But, Ms. Jaouad, his life partner, learns that her cancer has returned. The documentary showcases the portrait of these two artists at a pivotal crossroads in their relationship and their respective creative journeys. Well worth watching – with a box of tissues nearby — and his music is just wonderful.

Down and out with Covid

Hello, thanks for all your well wishes, It seems we’re not alone, many are also suffering from Covid.

This was our first time, others, we hear, are experiencing it for the second or third time…poor dears. And we were/are fully vaccinated.

I think we’re back with the living – feeling a bit better, still coughing, very, very tired, and still testing positive (arghhh).

And so we wait it out. Wearing masks both indoors and out…remember doing that?

Not fun, not fun at all.

Friends and neighbors have been wonderful – made us soup, brought groceries, lovely flowers – even pie.

We are very fortunate to have such a group of loved ones – we are so appreciative and feeling the care.

But for now, I’m going to take a break until I feel better and gather my thoughts to bore you with our recent trip – it seems so long ago now.

Be back soon.

As you can imagine, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Mom’s Favorite Reads

First and foremost, I knew I had some loyal and friendly followers here at Book Barmy, but I have been overwhelmed with all the lovely thoughts and tributes — such heartfelt emails and comments after my last posting. You are my tribe. Thank you.

This post has taken some time, as my mind kept wandering. When I tried to list some of my mother’s favorite books, the memories came flooding back.

We always had books, lots of books, when I was growing up. My grandfather had an extensive collection and my mom’s library was quite large for a young struggling couple with three kids. We had bookshelves in every room and one of us, if not all of us, could be found secreted in a corner reading. There were exceptions, we weren’t allowed to read at the table and, if it was a nice day, I was sent outside to play.

I remember some afternoons, Mom would sneak some time for herself, reading on the couch in the sunlight.

Mom and I had our difficulties, but we loved each other greatly — and our absolute best times were talking about books, trading books, shopping for books, and yes, quietly reading together.

So here I go with her favorite books – many of which I have never read myself.

My mom is one of the only people I’ve known who has actually read The Federalist Papers – yes read it cover to cover. I have her well-worn copy but have never attempted it myself.

Mom was fascinated by American history and that spurred her to read almost all of David McCullogh’s books. These were her two favorites if I remember… again still haven’t read.

We grew up just outside of Washington DC, so politics we also of interest but here she turned to fiction and feasted upon all of Allen Drury’s political novels.

Allen Drury was a reporter in the Senate, covering both Presidents Franklin D. Roosevelt and Harry S. Truman, among others. Mr. Drury is largely unknown and unread these days, but I may seek out this one – as she said it was her favorite – never read him either.

We we both enthralled by mysteries, but we agreed they had to be well-written and compelling.

I admit, I turned her into a Louise Penny addict which was great for both of us, because I would buy her newest installments in the Gamache mystery series on the day they were published – read them as fast as I could and then ship them out to my Mom. Enablers – you bet! If you haven’t read this well-written and very addictive series start with Still Life. You’ll get hooked too.

Rex Stout’s Nero Wolf series was another pleasure, and it’s been years since I’ve read one…but I remember they were very clever and the characters were sharp with great dialogue.

We shared a fondness for books about bookstores and The Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap was one of our favorites.

Mom introduced me to Little Women when I was 8 or 9 (I think) and she let me keep her copy in my bedroom so I could read and re-read it late at night. We recently laughed and bemoaned all the film versions that have been made and questioned how could they possibly make another.

Then we also wryly admitted that we had both watched each one when they came on television.

We moved from DC up to New Hampshire when I was in my teens. During one snow day, attracted by the jacket cover inviting me down a snowy path to a snug home in the pines, I picked up my mother’s copy of We Took to The Woods and happily wiled away the afternoon. She told me she picked up this copy in a used bookstore right after we moved, so she could ‘get a feel’ for life in New England. It turned out to be one of her favorite books. More about this book HERE.

Side note — when I first posted about this book, and told how I found my own copy but it lacked this great cover, a Book Barmy follower and friend tracked down a copy for me — with that exact cover! Book lovers are the best.

Mom delighted in the Anne of Green Gables series of books and I found her this spin off for her birthday one year. A re-imagining of Anne’s adoptive mother Marilla. Mom called me a week later having read it almost non-stop, and said it was wonderful, and she laughed and cried. I scored with that one.

Mom was a keen Dickens fan and has read them all. Her favorite by far was The Pickwick Papers. I made the mistake of making my first venture into Dickens with David Copperfield which gave me great trouble. Mom urged me to read Pickwick to restore my interest in Dickens – she was right a much better book.

This a mere fraction of the books she read in her lifetime, but I’ll stop here, as I have got to get back into reading myself.

My brain hasn’t been in that space, but writing this post about our shared ‘reading thing’ has reminded me how much I miss getting lost in a book.

I’m currently attempting this ~~ but have gotten bogged down – I know this is going to be a great read, but at I wonder if I have the persistence?

Life maybe too short for 700+ page tomes. So many other books to read.

I’ll let you know.

I found this snapshot going through some old photos.

I am the baby…my mom is the real ‘babe’.

Abandoned Reading

Humble apologies to my Book Barmy followers for the lack of content here. Sadly, I’m in a reading slump, a reading desert if you will, with several recent books cast aside in disappointment.

I know this is natural and happens to every reader, but oh how I miss being lost in a good — nay, a great book. Without such diversion, my evenings are not spent in my lovely reading nook, with said good/great book — but instead re-watching episodes of West Wing.

I had such high hopes for this novel, inspired by Andrew Wyeth’s painting Christina’s World and told from the point of view of the woman herself. Christina seemed destined for a small life. Instead, for more than twenty years, she was host and inspiration for the artist Andrew Wyeth, and became the subject of one of the best known American paintings of the twentieth century.

I actually got well into A Piece of the World and was quite enjoying it, so much so, I sent a friend a copy to read during her up-teenth snowstorm.

But, alas, after a great start, the novel became belabored with the focus on Christina’s disability and struggles quite dreary. So, I put it down. Perhaps another day, I’ll try it again.

The Book Hater’s Book Club was sent to me by the publisher for review. A blog aptly named Book Barmy tends to attract such books, for which I am grateful. The book’s blurb “All it takes is the right book to turn a Book Hater into a Book Lover” had me intrigued.

I usually enjoy books about book stores and the very interesting people that run them. So knowing this would be a lighter read, I tried it.

Elliott, co-owner of Minneapolis’ Over the Rainbow bookshop, has recently passed away, leaving the other co-owner, Irma, in trouble. Business is failing and the bills are piling up. Irma is also grieving the death of her longtime boyfriend.
Irma calls a meeting with her two daughters, Bree and Laney, and Elliott’s partner, Thom, at the lawyer’s office. She has decided to sell to a developer who plans to raze it and replace it with high-rise condominiums. Hmm I thought, okay, just give it another few chapters…

I tried folks, I really tried, but the characters were a bit too simplistic and plot very predictable from the outset. Another book tossed aside. Sorry ‎Park Row publishing.

I picked this up at my local library from the new arrivals shelf. (I have a special weakness for library new arrivals or librarian recommendation shelves.)

It sounded fun, a memoir about how Ms. Orenstein got through the pandemic by shearing a sheep, carding the wool from said sheep, spinning it into yarn and then making a sweater. I’ve never really been interested in spinning, but am a knitter, so I thought this will cure my reading slump – something completely different…and, as it turns out, completely BORING.

My eyes crossed at the detail; every little step of finding someplace that would teach her to shear a sheep, the minutiae of that practice, the endless discussion of choosing dyes for her wool, and the struggle to learn to knit. I know everyone needed something to do during the lock down time, and I’m happy Ms. Orenstein found her own coping mechanism. I just wish she had made it more fun and entertaining. But as Unraveled is written – it just felt like a forced march.

One thing is for certain – as the book cover proclaims — she did produce a very ugly sweater.

So here I am, aimlessly searching my bookshelves and Kindle for something to read – I need something to read. Perhaps I’ll just let it go and not put pressure on myself.

As a distraction, our record setting rainfall this winter has resulted in some of my best rose blooms ever.

So, I’m off to the garden – there are always aphids to spray with soapy water and dead-heading. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.

And “West Wing”, in case you’ve forgotten, was a great show, and I’m really enjoying re-watching the series one episode an evening – from the beginning.

From the Ground Up by Amy Stewart

With apologies to those in colder climes, spring has come to our little garden. The daffodils are up and earlier this year, we let our seven year old friend plant our bulbs wherever he wanted. The result is a lovely madness of blooms. Bunched together in some spots and varieties mixed together willy-nilly. Makes me smile with delight.*

So there I was cutting these daffs to take indoors when my thoughts turned to our garden at large. So much to do after the rains – oh the weeds – the weeds. Luckily, our seven year old child laborer gardener is also keen to help weed. No matter if he pulls up the wrong thing – odds are in our favor that he does indeed pull mostly weeds.

The other evening, my thoughts turning to more gardening, I turned to my collection of gardening books and pulled out an old favorite. Not an instructional garden book, but a memoir of a first garden.

From the Ground Up by Amy Stewart

I read this first when it came out in 2001 — during those dark days after 9/11 and I needed simple distraction. I just re-read it again and was once again surprised by how much I enjoyed this little gardening book.

From the book’s flyleaf:

Amy Stewart had a simple dream. She yearned for a garden filled with colorful jumbles of vegetables and flowers. After she and her husband finished graduate school, they pulled up their Texas roots and headed west to Santa Cruz, California. With little money in their pockets, they rented a modest seaside bungalow with a small backyard. It wasn’t much—a twelve-hundred-square-foot patch of land with a couple of fruit trees, and a lot of dirt. A good place to start.

From the Ground Up is Stewart’s quirky, humorous chronicle of the blossoms and weeds in her first garden and the lessons she’s learned the hard way. From planting seeds her great-grandmother sends to battling snails, gophers, and aphids, Stewart takes us on a tour of four seasons in her coastal garden. Confessing her sins and delighting in small triumphs, she dishes the dirt for both the novice and the experienced gardener. Along the way, she brings her quintessential California beach town to life—complete with harbor seals, monarch butterfly migrations, and an old-fashioned seaside amusement park just down the street.

This garden memoir is set just down the coast from us in Santa Cruz and I can relate to the coastal garden trials and tribulations. Furthermore, Ms. Stewart captures the mindset of the amateur gardener with all its joys, mysteries and disappointments. And I’ve made all the mistakes and I’ve had the joy and disappointment. From the Ground Up is interwoven with some viable garden tips — but it’s more than just a gardening book – it’s a book about life. Just read this excerpt:

But gardening is none of that, really. Strip away the gadgets and the techniques, the books and the magazines and the soil test kits, and what you’re left with, at the end of the day, is this: a stretch of freshly turned dirt, a handful of seeds scratched into the surface, and a marker to remember where they went. It is at the same time an incredibly brave and an incredibly simple thing to do, entrusting your seeds to the earth and waiting for them to rise up out of the ground to meet you.

If you have the gardening bug or you know someone who does. Whether you are into one specific species of plant or an eclectic gardener (we definitely fall into the latter category) — or even if you’d rather garden from your comfy chair – From the Ground Up is a delightful story of a new gardener, her first garden, and how she and her garden grew and changed.

Ms. Stewart is also know for several other garden books which are very well regarded.

One about the history of poisonous plants and their victims.

And another about the flower industry

Both look very interesting for someday.

But for now, From the Ground Up will go back to its place on my shelves for yet another re-read.

* Out here we have to plant new bulbs every year because in our temperate climate and without frost — very few bulbs re-bloom.

Lest you think we are the only ones with bulbs planted in wild abandon – check out the tulip garden in Golden Gate Park…also makes me happy. I wonder if they have their own child gardening helpers?

Around the House and Garden by Dominique Browning

Back in my advertising days, I was lucky enough to be part of the magazine publishing industry – only peripherally, but still a wonderful perk. In that time, printed magazines were a honorable part of advertising media, with wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful) full page advertisements. Another benefit of advertising in magazines, was the complimentary subscriptions we received. One of my favorites was House and Garden magazine.

House & Garden editor-in-chief, Dominique Browning, wrote a monthly column for the magazine and this lovely book brings together those columns. They cover personal stories and essays about home decorating, gardening, and raising children with universal themes of domestic life.

In Around the House and in the Garden, Browning adapts and expands these well-loved pieces, adding dozens of new essays, to create an insightful and moving narrative about the solace and sense of self that can be found through tending one’s home.

From the book blurb:

Around the House and Garden is a book for anyone who has ever felt the need to reinvent a life or a space, who has ever fallen in love with the idea of home – the place where we reinvent ourselves.

I’ve had this book for years and never got all the way through it. A while ago, I re-started it and left it next to my bed to read a chapter a night — they are each distinct, none are more than four pages, and easy to digest independently. And while I thought I would read one essay before sleep, in the end, I found myself reading the last half the book in one sitting.

Ms. Browning weaves in many reflections on her life in her two homes. The houses come to symbolize the state of her heart and mind. Some are sad, as she tries to bounce back from a divorce, yet it’s also a wonderfully uplifting book. I loved reading about her journey of healing while remaking her home and her reflections on gardens, decorating, and cultivating the comforts of a home.

It especially speaks to anyone starting over in their lives after a divorce, but could be just as useful to anyone attempting to create some kind of spiritual retreat in which to nurture their bodies and souls.

When I was reading this beautifully written book, I imagined myself sitting in a cozy living room having a cup of tea and a long talk with a lovely, yet vulnerable Ms. Browning — only after we had taken a long stroll through her gardens.

This book is Book Barmy prescribed for these long winter nights when you need calming, gentle, diversionary material to lull you to sleep while trying not to think obsessively about something that can wait until tomorrow.