Gift Idea for the New Parents

Operating Instructions

by Anne Lamott

“There really are places in your heart you don’t know exist until you love a child” — Anne Lamott

I give this slim volume to every new mother, and no, I don’t think it’s weird to give a book at baby showers.  Remember, please, a book is never a bad gift here at Book Barmy.

There’s a lovely new Mom-to-be on my Christmas list this year and before I wrapped Operating Instructions I chuckled away in re-reading parts of this unique book.

Anne Lamott is best known for her book on writing (Bird by Bird) and her many books on her own brand of spirituality (start with Traveling Mercies).

She writes achingly, from her heart and everything she pens has a clear authenticity that strikes a cord with this reader.  Even her books on spirituality are affectionate, wise and very funny  —  regardless of your religious persuasion.

Operating Instructions is the honest and funny diary of her son’s first year.  She recounts difficulties with sleep deprivation, colic, struggles to stay free from her addictions, grief over her father’s recent death and the absence of her son’s father  — all conveyed with self-deprecating humor and wit.

This is not a touchy-feely-how-to-be-a-perfect-mother guide, this is a brutally honest look at the good, the bad, the ugly and the scary parts of  the first year of parenting.

Ms. Lamott confesses to the times she wanted to just “put him outside as an experiment in natural selection” and recoils at the little guy’s private parts.

She boldly expresses her liberal political rants against the Bush presidency of the time, so the book feels a bit dated in that respect.  But in all other aspects this is a timeless and valuable gift for any new Mom (or Dad).

After my recipients have read Operating Instructions, I usually get comments along the lines of a” breath of fresh air”, “so funny I was reading it aloud to my husband”, “great fun while nursing” and even “reading this book made me feel less isolated and more connected — I wasn’t the only frightened mother out there”.

So, let’s help out any of those new parents on your gift list — offer to babysit, take over a casserole, walk their dog and most importantly — give them this book.

 

 

 

 

Gift Ideas for the Every Day Cook

I don’t mean everyday, as in common, I mean that person on your gift list who cooks for loved ones every day.  These are not foodies, per se, but people who enjoy preparing home cooked meals…well, most of the time anyway.

They cook from a place of love, they derive pleasure from preparing meals that not just nourish, but also bring family and friends together.

Let’s thank that dedicated meal preparer in your life with two largely unknown books about home cooking.

Home Cooking                               More Home Cooking

by Laurie Colwin

You may have never heard of Laurie Colwin, she never gained the notoriety of more famous food icons such as Julia Child or Ina Garten.  Best know as a novelist, Ms. Colwin’s two volumes of food essays continue to sell largely due to word-of-mouth recommendations from food enthusiasts who cherish these two volumes.  Many of these essays first appeared in the now out-of-business (sob!) Gourmet magazine.  Sadly, Ms. Colwin died of heart failure in 1992 at the age of 48.

We enter Ms. Colwin’s world warily at first — after all, her minuscule New York apartment reveals that her stove is used for storage and dish washing must be done in the bathtub.  But, soon her chatty, open and often humorous essays have you feeling right at home, perched on her counter, sipping a glass of beer, warmly embraced by her radiant joy of food.

Ruth Reichl, the writer, former Gourmet magazine (sob!) editor and New York Times restaurant critic, said it best: “You want to be in the kitchen with her — that is her secret. She is the best friend we all want. She never talks down to you.”

She talks of simple, homey food such as black beans, lentil soup, potato salad and this — “There is nothing like roast chicken. It is helpful and agreeable, the perfect dish no matter what the circumstances. Elegant or homey, a dish for a dinner party or a family supper, it will not let you down.”

She goes on to describe one of her most memorable meals– “beef stew and buttered noodles, runny cheese, and plain green salad with wonderful dressing.”  (Hungry yet?)

There is no pretension here, she won’t pretend that the boring bits of cooking are a higher calling; “It is wise to have someone you adore talking to you in the kitchen while you make these eggs,” she writes, “or to be listening to something very compelling on the radio.”

Of course, there are recipes, my two volumes are studded with markers and pencil checks…but there is also honesty and failure.  Ms. Colwin never shies away from recounting her very funny cooking disasters.  There is one dinner, prepared with friends under the influence, which was so inedible that her guests mutinied and they all went out to dinner.

To Ms. Colwin, the point of cooking is eating–eating with family and friends, definitely, but she also admits to eating straight from the cooking pot, ravenous and gloriously alone.

This quote below best captures the tone of the essays in Home Cooking and More Home Cooking.   “I was taught in my Introduction to Anthropology [a college course], it is not just the Great Works of mankind that make a culture. It is the daily things, like what people eat and how they serve it.”

This Christmas, please honor your every day cook — come to the table with your hunger, lots of compliments, a bottle of wine and these two volumes.

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I am hoping Santa will bring me this newest culinary treasure from another down-to-earth cook, Ruth Reichl.

 

 

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, this every day cook has gotta go make dinner.

Gift Idea for the Baker

The Sweet Life in Paris

By David Lebovitz

I’ve been busy baking for the holidays.  I’m not a baker, but there’s a couple of traditional holiday treats I bake to send to family and give to friends.  As Husband and I cleaned up the mess – (powdered sugar is such a beast)…I remembered this book which lives happily on my books to keep shelves.

David Lebovitz is a well-renowned pastry chef and baker from here in the Bay Area (of Chez Panisse fame) who moved to Paris.   

The Sweet Life in Paris is a collection of recipes interspersed with reflections on his adopted city. The observations about Paris are wonderful, his grumpy view of American tourists with their fanny packs and flip flops —  to his very funny riff on French men in their “religion revealing” bathing suits. He also writes unflinchingly about the frustrations of living in Paris.  He can’t get a visa without first opening a bank account, and the banks won’t open an account without a visa, as it requires extra paperwork. (He ends up bribing a friend of friend who works at bank with box of chocolates.)

“Unlike in America, where everyone is taught to say yes, in France, oui means more work.”

Mr. Lebovitz is confounded by the frequent French workers strikes and angry at Parisian’s inability to wait in line at the grocery store

“In Paris there are only two reason you can cut in front of others waiting in line:

1. Because you are old, frail, or have a physical disability that prevents you from standing for long periods of time.

2.  Because you don’t think you should have to wait in line behind anyone else.”

There are the Parisian shopkeepers who would rather smoke outside than sell you cheese that you are obviously unworthy of, the mind-numbing process of returning an item that broke with its first use and the alarming pedestrian pushing

But the curmudgeonly writing can’t hide the author’s true love of Paris and especially its culinary delights —  the chocolate shops and their beautifully artistic offerings, out of the way cafes that serve simple steak aux pomme frites, the bakers who work through the night catering to the French demand for their morning croissants and afternoon baguettes.

There’s one chapter (and a recipe thank goodness) called “Hot Chocolate to Die For”, which will cause you to run to the kitchen to unearth some baking chocolate and whole milk.

And the recipes —  mon deux! — just listen to these temptations  … Chocolate Macaroons, Breton Cake with Fleur de Sel, Dulce de Leche Brownies and there’s even a Caramelized Apple Tart which is supposedly low fat. 

But I found the most valuable pages are his appendix of favorite places in Paris for baked goods — the best croissant in Paris (why yes — yes please) –not to mention the best chocolate shops – priceless  

This is delightful and funny book filled with the charms and eccentricity of Paris.  But the main reason to get this The Sweet Life in Paris is as a “gift” for your favorite baker — and secretly hope you’ll get to share in the results.

 

N.B.  The author reveals his favorite place in New York City – City Bakery for salted croissants and thick hot chocolate with a homemade marshmallow.  Just look at this – possibly worth the 3,000 mile trip.

Gift Idea for the Fashionista

Bringing Home the Birkin

by Michael Tonello

My Life in Hot Pursuit of the World’s Most Coveted Handbag

 

In the words of Monty Python …

and now for something completely different. 

If you could see me right now in ratty jeans and a favorite soft sweatshirt found at Goodwill, you’d seriously question why I would read, let alone recommend, this book.

And you’d be right, I could care less about designer clothing labels or bling from Tiffany’s — but I do have a weakness for a good bag.  (There was an incident at a Coach factory store in New Hampshire [no sales tax], where mid purchase, my credit card company shut me down thinking my card was in the hands of a thief on a spending spree — but the incident was all sorted out and we shall speak no further of it.)

Back it in the 90’s, Hermès was known for their coveted Birkin handbags – and the infamous five year waiting list to obtain one of the bags. This urban myth was perpetuated through the cultural icons of the time such as a Sex and the City episode and Victoria Beckham’s astonishing pink Birkin. They were (and still are – just checked eBay – yikes) the ultimate elite status symbol.

At a starting price of $8,000, a Birkin is well beyond my means or my conscious.  But still, a girl can dream right?

That’s why I stopped short when I came across Bringing Home the Birkin. I found myself turning the pages, warily thinking — this is not the book for me, I’ll just read a little bit…and before I knew it, I was enthralled by this frothy, engaging and funny tale.

Michael Tonello moves from Cape Cod to Barcelona, Spain, but once there the job he has lined up, falls through.  Having fallen for both Barcelona and a new man, Mr. Tonello turns in desperation to his favorite pastime — shopping, which leads him into Hermès stores where he buys scarves to resell (at a very good profit) on e-Bay. When one of his scarf buyers asks him to obtain a Birkin, (at any price) he takes on the challenge.

This proves to be a formidable task as Hermès made sure the Birkin bag remained ultra exclusive, by instituting a waiting list with high-profile customers, limiting the number of Birkins sold to each customer and  putting a “reserved” sign on display bags.

Mr. Tonello riffs on the likelihood of the “reserved” ploy with this passage:

I could only imagine the conversation:  “Oh yeah, the croc Birkin, right, great.  But I only have half the money now,  — repairs on the yacht this week you know how it is…don’t sell it, just put in the window, pop a reserved sign on it or something.  I’ll send the chauffeur by with the other half by next Sunday at the latest — Great great.  You guys are the best…”

Hermès‘ strategy worked and customers fell for it–blinded by the rarity and social status. Mr. Tonello knew this human failing only too well and he finds it fairly easily to obtain numerous bags, but only after he develops a buying formula, a special outfit (!) and profiles of typical Hermès sales personnel in order to befriend them (one of the funniest sections of the book are these employee “profiles” – and their accompanying illustrations).  He journeys to Luxembourg, Capri, Santiago, Paris –all in search of Birkins, which he sells at a tidy profit to his shamefully rich clients.

Just when this tale of over the top consumerism is almost getting to be too much, a family tragedy causes Mr. Tonello to examine his conscious.  He reflects on what is actually important in life and discovers he can no longer deal with “people who lacked for nothing, but who longed for more”. 

With that said, Bringing Home the Birkin is not high moral reading.  This is a guilty pleasure — a fun peek into the world of high fashion, high stakes shopping and the extraordinarily rich.  But it also shines with beautiful locations, great hotels, top restaurants — and most of all the fascinating, funny and outrageous Michael Tonnello.

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Why is it called a Birken?  Well the story goes that Jane Birkin was flying from London to Paris in 1981 when she reached into her bag for her datebook and everything fell out. “I’d love a bag with pockets,” the English singer/actress told her seatmate.  Her seatmate just happened to the chairman of Hermès. He was a good listener. He had his designers make not only a bag with pockets, but also a spill-proof closure. He sent one to Birkin and then he named it after her.

 

 

 

Abandoned Books…

Abandoned books? I know, appalling for someone who’s barmy about books.  But I admit it, I sometimes don’t finish books – even those well-reviewed best sellers thrust upon me by bookish friends or praised by other book bloggers.  And it’s happening more and more often as I get older — you know the so little time, so many books theory.    The 50 page rule prevails — I’ll give any book at least 50 pages before I put it down…sometimes more.  This cold rejection of an author’s herculean effort always tears me apart a little bit.  But, I’ve been told I’m too sensitive.  So I’ll just pull up my big girl panties and give you a rundown of the books I’ve abandoned recently.

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The Little Paris Bookshop:  This just seemed the perfect book for me.  What’s not to embrace?  A bookshop on a boat — in Paris — and just look at that cover.  But I found it just too whimsical and sticky-sweet.  I struggled on, actually reaching chapter 28 – as the bookshop owner pilots his boat away from its long-time berth in Paris.   But, just as the bookshop/boat meanders down the Seine, so too the plot – to the point where I practically fell into a sugar-laced coma.

 

 

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I eagerly opened Wild wanting the adventure it advertised, a broken hearted woman sets off, totally unprepared, to hike the Pacific Coast Trail.  I read ten chapters into this one, but I found her grief unbelievably extreme, so raw she seemed broken beyond what a hike (or sex along the way) could solve.  Her lack of emotional maturity, simply put — bored me.   N.B. The author has written the complete opposite of a book, Dear Sugar which I am dipping into and so far, I’m very moved by it, so stay tuned.

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I place Carlos Ruiz Zafon’s first book The Shadow of the Wind  on my list of all time favorite books.  Set in a Barcelona bookstore with many secrets, I lost myself in that novel for many days. So, I had expectations that the second book in this series – The Angel’s Game – would carry on the magic.  But this book is dark and very different with weird supernatural elements. I read through pages of violence and disturbing psychological ugliness. It seemed the author was angry with this writing – as he punches the reader with unresolved hard truths and unflinching observations.  In the end, what made me quit reading, was the many, many characters (and some with multiple personae)  — I just got plain confused. I was never sure what was going on in the convoluted story line and kept having to flip back and forth to see if I could figure out which character was which.  So with a slight headache, I took an aspirin and went to bed without a backward glance.

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I’ve had Nothing Daunted for several years now and keep doggedly trying to get through it. Just read this blurb:

The acclaimed and captivating true story of two restless society girls who left their affluent lives to “rough it” as teachers in the wilds of Colorado in 1916.

The reviews were wonderful, I was hearing about this book everywhere. And you got to  love the cover, with before and after photos of the actual subjects?  The introduction is just as enticing, as the author describes coming across a folder of her mother’s forgotten letters from this adventurous time in Colorado. The author has penned an historical work, which is comprehensive, but not compelling enough to keep this reader enthralled.   The landscape of the area and time period are well written.  But there is no emotion written into this account and the characters are one-dimensional.  The author had to obviously imagine parts of the story, why not insert some emotions as well?   Sadly, as exciting as these two women’s personal experiences must have been – their story suffers from a dull and dry telling.  Like ordering a beautifully described, but disappointing meal in a restaurant, I finally gave up and put it aside unfinished.

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I read The Dinner by Dutch writer Herman Koch, when it was a bestseller.  It’s a masterfully crafted psychological novel with the evil incident revealing itself largely by dialogue around a restaurant dinner. (Read it – it will grab you and not let you go.)  So, once again I had expectations of a similar read with his second book Summer House with Swimming Pool.  What happened to Mr. Koch’s writing?  Where is his craft?  This book, written entirely in the third person, lacked any plot as of five chapters in and the main character, whose revolting thoughts and dreary ramblings we must endure, is entirely unlikable. With The Dinner, the reader could relate and even empathize with the protective parents.  This follow-up has none of that soul or depth.  It is almost as if Mr. Koch dusted off one of his earlier writing attempts and the publisher ran with it.

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I had great hope for this glowingly reviewed memoir wherein a woman adopts and trains a Goshawk for falconry.  (I had my own, albeit limited, experience helping injured hawks back to the wild — but that’s another post).  Mabel, the hawk and her training is said to be a remedy for the death of her father, but that connection is never fully developed or understood. Why a mean-spirited hawk – why not a kitten or a dog?   Ms. MacDonald started to loose me as she details her poor raptor’s “training” in a tiny apartment with some less than humane activities.  H is for Hawk has some beautiful writing, especially when Mable’s training moves out into the open British countryside.  But, I set the book aside and let it gather dust when Ms. MacDonald’s writing became tedious over her obsession with the deceased author (and even more heartless falconer) T.H. White.

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I loaded  Hausfrau onto my Kindle for our trip to Switzerland, as it takes place in and around Zurich. So I settled in to read about a bored ex-pat housewife coping with a new culture as I traveled through the same country.  Anna is privileged, bored and frustrated.  She takes no interest in her husband or his work.  Her mother-in-law cares for her house and children.  Anna (even after 9 years) hasn’t bothered to learn the language or tried to assimilate. She can find no redeeming qualities in the Swiss culture or people.   So naturally, she turns to meaningless sex with a series of English-speaking men. (Even the sex scenes were boring).  An Anna Karenina character, but without class.  That’s when I closed the book  — but only after I’d mentally slapped her.

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There you go, my pile of abandoned books, most of which were gladly donated to the library. Let them find a reader who will appreciate them and give them rave reviews.

Not to worry, I’m into some great reading with nothing abandoned for now.

What books could you not finish?

 

Memoirs as Salvation

~~First an apology for the radio silence. I’ve been neglecting Book Barmy lately.  Last minute travel preparations dominate right now, as we prepare to leave on a grand trip next week.  As a result, my reading has dwindled to a few pages at night- (sometimes the same pages from the night before) until I can’t keep my eyes open. Stay tuned for more on our travel excitement in an upcoming post. ~~

What is it about memoirs?  I gravitate toward them in anxious times and decided it was because I’m a bit of a guilty voyeur combined with a dash of schadenfreude.   I seem to gain solace from dipping into the disastrous lives of others.   So when I came across this wonderful Mary Karr essay HERE , I knew I had a chum — another memoir lover out there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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One of my all time favorites is Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Read this memoir for it’s depiction of a trip of a lifetime and Ms. Gilbert’s personal journey.  Rediscovering joy, peace and love while gaining friends, insights and few extra pounds along the way.  It’s really not as sappy as I just made it sound – honestly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And now for something similar yet completely different … Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.  Once again we witness a nightmarish youth and the reparations, but in this case Mr. Burroughs tells his tale in such a way that it is both entertaining and outrageous.  So entertaining, in fact that some studio attempted to make a film based on the book. Just terrible, give it a miss – the film that is – not the book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I was recently reminded of the classic Testament of Youth –  an autobiography of a independent woman who volunteers as a nurse during WWI. I missed many a wild club scene evening buried in its pages back in the 80’s. It’s been adapted into what looks to be a promising film (trailer HERE).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The other evening I started this unique memoir.  Grieving over the unexpected death of her father, Helen MacDonald rediscovers her love of falconry with a prickly and murderous goshawk —  named Mabel.  I’m only a few chapters in and it’s riveting (at least for as long as I’m able to stay awake these recent nights).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not forgetting the other memoirs here on Book Barmy –THIS or THIS

What are your favorite memoirs or autobiographies?