My Uncle Bob

My dear Uncle Bob is dying.

(this is Bob, on the right, with my husband in Muir Woods several years ago.)

Those are tough words to write…but having suffered the ravages of Alzheimer’s, the doctors tell us Bob is in his last days.

Connie — his lover, partner, best friend and wife has been with him every step of this horrible journey and she is steadfast with him even now — holding his hand, caressing his brow and giving him the little snippets of love he can still understand.

His son has been at his side, his sister (my mother) has reminisced with him almost daily about their childhood memories, friends and neighbors call in to discuss sports or his beloved dogs, but now there is nothing more to be done.  It’s just a matter of time — so they say. Bob stopped eating and taking liquids days ago.  Many have weighed in and pray he will go quickly rather than suffer any more — but I wonder.

Why is he still here?

I think Uncle Bob is hanging on – because he feels the enormous love surrounding him.  Why not struggle to stay here in this world just a little bit longer? Why not, despite all odds, stay with his most beloved — just to feel those moments of connection -and perhaps even happiness?

None of us know what the dying feel in their last days, but I hope they know the love of all their cherished ones, both present and past, who surround them at the end.

Maybe Uncle Bob isn’t actually suffering as much as he is clinging to the world he just can’t say goodby to – at least not yet – no not quite yet OK?.

I love you Uncle Bob.